Negative qualities:
- Never actually getting anything done.
- Not being able to enjoy experiences because of looming feeling that I should be doing something else.
- Feeling annoyed with myself and feeling lazy.
- Limiting my ability to be creative and experiment.
- Regardless somethings have to be done anyway so therefore procrastination truly is a waste of precious time.
Gifts:
- Not having to face up to difficult challenges.
- Able to run away from the risk of trying something and failing.
- "Ignorance is bliss".
SARK: "Negative qualities: not starting things, not finishing things, hiding, feeling self-anger frustration and paralyzing inertia. Gifts: continuing to have excuses, not feeling challenged, having a ready explanation for not living your dreams, having more "time", basking in the glow of denial".
When I read back over both mine and SARK's list of the negative qualities and gifts that procrastination brings, I realised that actually these supposed "gifts" were both counterproductive and limiting. If anything they were anti-gifts and in some circumstances take more away than the negative qualities do.
Indeed SARK put it perfectly: "These "gifts" will continue to feed areas of low self esteem until you believe in your own abilities to fly".
Last night after I had decided I was ready to understand my procrastination, I made a very simple decision to change the delivery time of my online shopping order from Asda. I understand that that may seem random, but by opting to having my groceries delivered at 8am rather than 3pm (although it cost me a whopping £1 more) I knew I had to be awake at a reasonable hour and therefore couldn't use oversleeping as a procrastination tool. So that was a step in the right direction in beginning to eradicate procrastination habits.
Yesterday morning I also received an e-mail from a new colleague of mine on a potentially very worthwhile job proposal I was given just before Christmas. Being stuck in my procrastination rut made me doubt my own abilities and I opted not to respond to the e-mail until I was "feeling more on top of my game" (read: procrastinate). However, because I had ensured that I wasn't wasting today oversleeping, I was awake to receive a phone call from this colleague as he was at an airport between flights. This too has been a positive step forward as I now feel encouraged about my new job and my value within the company - it is a very good prospect and may be a possible answer to my woes regarding university.
Although I may not have achieved masses in the way of productivity today, I have made small steps and am already beginning to see that if I trust myself to face things it actually makes me feel much better than burying my head.
"I am now ready to release procrastination..."
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